Good news! Today I completed my course of therapy, and I feel I’ve come out of it with a new way of thinking.
When I was initially assessed I scored 59 on the OCD chart – the treatable level is 40 – that score has gone down to 12. And for PTSD, or stress trauma, my score has reduced from a whopping 70 to seven. Hurrah, and worth a smiley face, I think 🙂
The final question asked was whether the traumatic event was something you felt you couldn’t talk about. Pre-therapy I scored the maximum on that. Now having told all of “you” through the far-reaching network of the web, I was able to put that down as a definite zero. Result!
Another question was whether you avoid reminders of the event. This week I stopped in my car and asked someone for directions. That’s something I would previously have avoided at all costs, all part of the hang-ups from moon-face man.
I walked out of the therapy session today feeling a completely different person to the one who tentatively went in there more than four months ago.
I’m not saying it’s suddenly made everything brilliant, or altered the state of my life, but I feel I’m able to react to and deal with things, especially what “I” perceive as problems, in a different way.
So much is about perception, isn’t it. Previously, I perceived asking someone for directions as a problem. But how many of you do the same? We all have different issues with aspects of life, that are peculiar to us, because of our experience and pre-conceptions.
I’m getting all philosophical again – time to move on!
Just before doing so, I’d like to say a big THANK YOU for all the positive feedback and messages everyone has left or sent. They’ve really meant a lot to me.
And an even bigger THANK YOU to my brilliant therapist, who I was so lucky to be assigned to through the local NHS anxiety service. With her detailed knowledge she diagnosed my problems immediately, expertly guided me through sometimes difficult sessions, and left me with insight to help me move forward.
I’ve also been fortunate to get a place on a Mindfulness course, which I hope will teach me to switch off from the hamster wheel more often.
It’s all a combination of having the right tools and knowing how to use them. Take my mobile phone, for instance.
My previous old keypad version was great until the central four keys stopped working. It’s really difficult to send a text when you can’t use a third of the letters or the space bar – defso.
This week I upgraded to an all-singing all-dancing smart phone. It was so smart that when it rang I had no idea how to answer it. After half a dozen lost calls, I tried the helpdesk.
Nice man: “Yes, how can I help you?”
Me: “I’ve got a new phone and I don’t know how to answer it.”
Nice man: “You sweep your hand across the green circle.”
Me: “Oh, yes of course, thank you. Why didn’t I think of that?!”
Without the right tools that work, you can’t make progress, however hard you try. But sometimes the answer is staring you right in the face, and you can’t see it until someone else points it out.
Filing early because I’m away this weekend running marathon number 33. And because I wanted to tell you my good news and once again say “thanks”.