Rainbows

This afternoon has been one of those times where feeling a bit anxious, a bit out of sorts, I’ve not felt like doing very much at all.

The skies in my own life have felt a bit grey recently, John’s dementia and other connected issues have been increasing and I’m aware that this is a time of change for us, not sweeping changes but enough tweaks to consider to pause and reflect on what options there are.

Admiral Nurse Liz came into our lives recently like a ray of sunshine and other people are going to be helping too. A busy week awaits with several meetings lined up.

I feel so tired though from recent events that sometimes I wonder if I will cope.

It’s so hard watching someone you love decline with dementia.

I’m watching that with John every day.

I watched it with my dad, who died age 73 of vascular dementia in 2015.

This afternoon I’ve been reading the moving book ‘Take Care, Son’ written and illustrated by cartoonist Tony Husband following his dad’s death from dementia in 2011, strangely the year my dad was diagnosed.

Tony himself died just over two weeks ago, suddenly and unexpectedly, age 73. A big loss, he was a thoughtful, talented, generous man who did much work to raise awareness around dementia, among his wide and varied portfolio of humorous poignant cartoons and beautiful nature based artwork.

I consider myself lucky to have known him. And I am especially grateful that he was always so kind to John.

As I sat in our conservatory today reading Tony’s tribute in Private Eye, a magazine he worked for for over 40 years, and his lovely book, gifted to me recently (thank you Clint) the grey, rainy skies have been regularly brightened up by rainbows.

Since Dad died rainbows have always been extra-special to me, a sign of his presence, peace and that all will be well.

Dad and I often sat here together in the conservatory, where I’m typing this on my phone, in those last months and weeks before he went into a care home for 24/7 care, for which I was so so sad that he could no longer be looked after at home, but I knew it was the right decision.

I don’t know what the future holds, short term or long term, who of us does? But I know there are discussions to be had, options to consider.

The rainbows today gave me comfort, for they brought light and reflection.

Here they are in pictures…